So far

Well life over here is the same as usall except the fact that Jay is going to Brazil for a few months and I am getting a promosion at work and looking for places to move to. Yeah same old same old lol… Anyways I only found out that jay was going a couple of days ago. To tell you the truth I was a little hurt cause he kept it from me and he is keeping it from the rest of the family as well. Not a smart move in my opinion. I think that everybody is gonna feel pretty hurt as well. The 3 of us is not the only members of our family! This is why we have family, they are they who we can tell everything to and not hold back. They will feel hurt and things well not be good towards jay but I will try to help Jay with this. I know why he is going and I think its for the best. My mom really needs him to go, emotionally she needs somebody more then ever and I am so glad that Jay is going. Ofcourse I am pretty jelous of the fact he is going and I am not but if I went I would be going for the wrong reason. I would be going to see my friends more then to see my parents. I know, this awful of me but I cant help how I feel. There is many times that I feel negativity towards my folks and I simply cant ever get the right words to come out when I speak to them but I really do care about them and I love them with all my heart. I am always so worried about my mom. The only way that I can get through everything is to not think about it and that is how this negativity began. I regret it ofcourse but I am getting better and my feelings have returned to how they should be. I am worried about my mom. Everytime I speak to her she always seems to be weak and simply lifeless with no hope but now that she knows Jay is comign soon she has so much life in her. I am just so happy for her. Maybe this will help her start a new life.. I hope so…
    • Christopher J.
    • May 2nd, 2006

    hahahah yeah sorry about that john but i didnt want everyone to know because i dont want there negative coments in my head while i go, but hopefully its all in my head and they will suport me instead of mock me. well we will soon find out because i will tell them opn monday

    • ѕαуσ —- 紗夜 さよ
    • May 18th, 2006

    wow…you space is so neat…

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